Why Do South Asians Tear Each Other Down?
From gossip to smear campaigns, too many of us can’t stand to see each other win — and it’s costing us.
When Maisha Musharrat turned 23 in 2021, she felt like her life was coming together. She had built a loyal Instagram following, gotten married, and landed a dream job with a major Dhaka newspaper as their fashion reporter.
But her dream soon became a nightmare. A few weeks in, the rumors began: first in group chats, then across departments. She partied too much. Her outfits were too skimpy. She was bad at her job. The gossipers even contacted her husband and claimed she was cheating on him, she said. To retaliate, her husband started an affair with one of Musharrat’s co-workers. (Her husband disputes that her colleagues reached out to him and that he had an affair.) Musharrat had to take antidepressants. Six months later, after quitting her job, she left Bangladesh with her husband for the U.S. But the rumors and bullying followed her.
“They will still find me, and message me via Instagram, say that I’m too fat, that I’ve gained weight, that my skin looks bad,” Musharrat told The Juggernaut through tears. Why was she targeted? Was it her dedication, her new marriage, her social following, or — most insidious of all — because she dared to be happy? The Juggernaut spoke to psychologists, researchers, and individuals who’ve experienced hate from their own community to answer one question: why are we turning on each other when evolution would tell us otherwise?